07 November, 2006

I don't understand.

My searching was fuel for my songwriting. But now that I've found what I longed for I've the worst case of writers block-- lyrically and instrumentally. Would I trade all of this to be able to write again? To listen to the beautiful music streaming from my speakers as I play the albums many of my close friends are putting out-- for it to be SO beautiful and to know none of it was written for you frustrates me while I have so much to sing about, yet I feel like a mute. I am screaming so loud and can't force one word from my lips. I want SO MUCH to meet one person who bleeds through the music they compose for Christ. I feel like secular music has something Christian music doesn't, but that can't be! It just can't. Someone please tell me I'm wrong and tell me why!

What freedom do I seek that I can't find it in you? This scares me. Is this freedom? The moments that catch me between Christian thoughts as I drip blood on to the floor of this holy room. I'm bleeding for something, wounded for something-- yearning. Lord, could such a beautiful song be sung and such beautiful honesty be written for you? I can't write it. With every part of me, I wish I could.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

how you doing my traveling friend?

Benjamin said...

glad your doing well

or maybe i shouldn't be saying that

it's come to a sad state of affairs when i don't actually know.

please, just take solice in the fact that i do care

James said...

Secualr music does have something christian music doesn't:

Sin.

SSSSSIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

No room in heaven for "Hot in Herre."

Leslie Puiras said...

baahahaha..

nyssa ariel said...

I like your picture.
You are beautiful.

Leslie Puiras said...

erm.. i just upgraded to beta.. and things are mssed up. this blog doesn' belong here. i wrote it a few days go. help?

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