Spiritual Warfare...

I played at Uncovered tonight which is always a pleasure but I’ve never felt so under attack. I felt so confused and light-headed that I could hardly play. I really feel like God is moving here and wants to pour out his spirit in a new and exciting way. I know it’s begun and it makes sense that Tyndale would be a battleground—to decide we’re safe from spiritual warfare here would be foolish. While the enemy doesn’t deserve to be the focus of my attention, I pray accordingly in light of this reality.

I’ve felt a fog (for lack of a better description) for so long and I can’t function properly without being able to hear from God. In response to this feeling I went through my spiritual checklist: Am I spending enough time in prayer? Am I walking in sin? Is there any hidden sin that I need to repent of? Am I being obedient? Am I spending enough time in the Word? All of these things seemed to check out—and the few that didn’t, I made sure that I got on top of them. Still, I was feeling like everywhere I went and everyone who I interacted with was in some sort of spiritual fog—saying all the ‘right Christian things’ but something was off... The first response was to repent and pray to make sure I wasn't sensing this in the spirit of judgement. After spending some frustrating quiet-time calling out to God, I resigned to the fact that I needed to rest in faith that he heard me even if I couldn’t feel him. And inside I still felt that somehow this fog was beyond me. So I rested in the knowledge that he was sitting there with me though I couldn’t put my finger on where. I told myself I would wait as long as it took for me to hear SOMETHING.

Finally I felt the need to read through the armor of God in Ephesians. As I was reading it out loud in my room it was as though the air became restless—something moving and agitated. I found myself praying against specific things that I feel have a foothold in this school and as I did, the fog seemed to lift a little. I am realizing more and more how easily we can be swept away and deceived—all the while feeling secure as a Christian. It’s SO important to pray for the people who lead us in worship, the people who teach us, the people we love and the people we see in the halls... I resolved to dig in even further after that night—praying without ceasing and to trust that God is starting a fire that nobody can put out. He's doing wonderful things in this place! I can feel the wind of change!

As a result, I’ve felt so spiritually attacked, exhausted and discouraged. I’m not terribly expressive or excited about spiritual warfare—it wasn’t something I grew up knowing about and if we’re honest, it creeps me out.. But if I decide it’s not real or worth my time praying through, the enemy’s got the upper hand and has more-or-less won. I’ve seen far too much to deny the existence of both the enemy and of God. My God is faithful. While I may pray against the enemy, I pray more toward God in thanksgiving and hope. I pray that he blesses you and that you can REALLY hear what he is saying to you.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it [1 Thess. 5.16-24]