Self Analysis and Response

I've been struggling with some sort of mystery illness for the past year-and-a-half which manifests itself in dizziness, nausea and minor congestion. For me, it's like a ticking in the background or when you get something small caught between your back molars. It's frustrating and all I can do is wait until we locate the problem and then find relief.

Adding insult to injury, it's the time of year where the overcast skies and short days take their toll. Call it the blues, cabin fever or the winter blahs but whatever the name, people around me seem stressed out and run down and this caused me to think: when something is wrong, why is it that we so quickly try to isolate ourselves? We don't want to talk, we don't want to make eye contact and we don't want to be noticed. As for myself, I struggle with this because I get grumpy when I'm not feeling well and like to be left alone (Yes, somewhere inside I'm still 5-years-old). I also get lazy and often don't make an effort to connect with others because being outgoing and excitable doesn't come naturally to me-- although being friendly does!

That being said, I've been making a conscious effort to cultivate a sense of community in my life and I don't mean attending planned events. Events are fun and entertaining, but the focus seems to be more on the event than on plugging in and connecting with people. What have I been up to? I've been more intentional about making eye contact and smiling when I pass people while I'm out running errands. I've joined a public gym instead of working out alone at home and I've started studying in the library instead of at my desk-- all the while making an effort to ask people how they're doing and wishing them well.

While I can't control what's happening in my body, I can still try to make positive choices and do what I can right here where I'm at. I still get grumpy and I often feel lazy, but I guess what I'm getting at by writing/thinking this through is that I've identified some things I struggle with and I want to make a change instead of settling for a mediocre experience.