It was the first week of March I’d been having Braxton hicks contractions continually for a few days. They occurred every 8-15 minutes but weren’t painful and weren’t regular. We went to see our OB, Dr. Joutsi, who informed us that the baby had engaged and my cervix was 80% effaced and 2cm dilated. Joe and I were excited-- Joe was especially excited to hear that Baby could arrive “anytime in the next 12-24 hours”. Dr. Joutsi told Joe not to go to far from home which meant he couldn’t go down to school in the city and he also had to miss a sales meeting for work.
We got home and called to let my mom know what the doctor had said. She ended up driving down with my brother Matthew that night. We waited and waited. We went to the mall and walked around to try and get things moving, we played some card games and board games and we watched some movies but nothing more was happening. Just these painless but very tight braxton hicks contractions. Matt ended up catching a bad cold at the mall and so he went home while mom stayed down with us.
Things continued on like this for nearly a week (it seemed like forever!!) until March 9th at 4:00am when my contractions started to become painful. I woke up and knew that this was the beginning of labor. I couldn’t lay down anymore because it was too uncomfortable and so I went into the baby’s room with a blanket and some pillows and set myself up in the reclining rocking chair. Eventually they became even more painful and so I woke up Joe and he came into the room with a chair and blanket of his own and got comfy beside me so that I could hold his hand. Charlie, our beagle, came and wanted up on Joe’s lap because he wanted to be close to us. So there we were at 5:00 in the morning-- Joe and I in chairs side by side with our beagle on Joe’s lap, breathing through contractions that were now painful but still not regular.
These painful contractions continued for a few more days and my dad came down to visit us and then went back up to Owen Sound to wait things out until the baby arrived. Things were more intense and continued to become more painful. I could no longer talk through contractions and they hovered around 10 minutes apart but didn’t get any closer. They even spaced out a bit every once in a while which was discouraging. Because they were occurring so frequently, I was unable to get any sleep. I dealt with the pain by taking hot baths and I had found a comfortable position in the corner of our new L-shaped couch that a family from our church had given us a few days before. Joe and Mom took turns staying out in the living room with me at night to hold my hand when I was having a contraction. They also wrote down the times when things seemed to be getting “regular”. I had gone 3 days without any sleep and finally on Saturday, March 12th at about 10pm I decided that enough was enough and we should just go to the hospital to at least see what was happening. We called Joe’s brother Jake to come over and watch the dog, and then Joe, Mom and I went to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital birthing unit at South Lake Regional Health Centre in Newmarket and it was almost empty! There was no one in the triage room and I was able to see the nurse right away without having to wait. The nurse came in to see us and she did an internal exam. Sure enough, I was 4cm dilated so they admitted me! Next thing I knew, I was in our birthing room and 15 minutes later a doctor came in and broke my water. It was all happening so fast!!
After my water broke, the contractions still hovered around the irregular 10 min mark, but they became even more painful. I was unable to sit or lay down and so I walked around and labored for a few hours on my feet. Every time a contraction came, I walked over to the counter in our room and I put one hand on the counter, and Joe held my other hand to support me on the other side, and I leaned forward and breathed. I was very quiet during contractions. I just focused and breathed and stayed calm. I prayed a bit too and I felt more relaxed as the Lord reminded me not to tighten my muscles but to just let things go when a contraction was coming-- sort of like when you relax your muscles as you go to the bathroom. This helped a lot and I could feel the baby moving down. Joe was so supportive-- telling me that I was doing a great job, that he loved me so much and even that I looked beautiful. I also spent some time in a hot shower to deal with the pain. Eventually though, because I hadn’t slept in days, I was too tired to stand and I knew I would be unable to get comfortable sitting down so I decided I wanted to have an epidural.
A nurse named Lin came in to start an I.V. and then the anesthesiologist came in around 3:00am to do the epidural. Joe was holding my hand and I sat with my legs over the edge of the bed and leaned into a pillow tucked against my tummy. He froze my back and then I felt a lot of pressure in my spine as he put the needle in. It was absolutely terrible and I was quite vocal about it-- not screaming, but lots of “owwwwwww!! and ahhhhhh”. Joe wasn’t watching the procedure, but my reaction made him light headed and he said he started to feel pins and needles as the blood drained from his face. He waved my mom over to hold my hand and said he felt like he was going to pass out. Lin took a look at him and snatched him away, making him sit down in a chair so he wouldn’t faint and fall on the floor.
After the epidural was in, I became much more comfortable and for the first time in days, I wasn’t feeling any pain. I was so much more relaxed and finally feeling great so I got really chatty and was so excited. Mom and Joe were feeling really tired though because they’d been awake with me the last few days too and they kept telling me it was time to be quiet and take a nap because I would need my energy. Finally we turned out the lights and I was able to get some sleep. Joe slept on a fold-out cot beside me, and mom tried to get comfortable in a chair, but eventually gave up and went into the waiting room to stretch out on a bank of chairs.
In the morning, a new nurse named Joella was on duty. She kept calling me “Mama” instead of by my name and she was extremely nice to us. The contractions were still not regular and I’d only dilated a cm more since they broke my water the night before so she started me on Oxytocin. By mid afternoon things were cooking and I was able to start pushing. I was able to control the epidural myself and so I took it easy on the dose in order to be able to feel when to push. Joe’s mom arrived for the delivery and everybody had a job to do.
I was on the hospital bed with Joe holding one leg, Joella holding the other and my mom/Joe’s mom were at each shoulder to assist me in leaning forward while I was pushing. I started pushing and things were going well. The mom’s (Joe’s and mine) were right into it and had been holding the back of my neck instead of supporting me behind my shoulders as they were supposed to. Whenever the nurse told me to push harder they responded by pushing me forward by my neck more and more. Hey guys, she’s telling ME to push. Not you! They readjusted and then things were more comfy.
45 mins later, Dr Dervaitis came in to deliver the baby. His head came out and there seemed to be lots of room, but his broad shoulders ended up being a problem. Out of nowhere a slightly panic’d nurse ran to the phone and called for more help. Before too long there were about 8-10 nurses working away at setting up emergency equipment just in case and Joelle hurriedly hoisted herself up onto my hospital bed. She straddled my waist and faced my feet. Using both hands she pushed with her entire upper-body down onto my stomach to squeeze him out as the doctor pulled him by the head to get him out quickly since he was turning blue. Originally Joe was going to cut the cord and then the nurse was going to set him on my belly so I could see him, but because of the situation, she quickly cut the cord and passed him to the team standing by with oxygen. For a while there was no cry and Joe was starting to get worried. So much was going on that I didn’t realize there had been any problem. Next thing I knew, I could hear the sound of them slapping the bottom of his feet and then the first cries came out.
It was a trip. It wasn’t a super emotional instant love connection. It was just this bizarre Twilight Zone experience-- one second there wasn’t a baby in the room and now there’s a baby in the room. Where did it come from? As ridiculous as it sounds, I was shocked to see that there actually had been a baby in there. It’s like some part of me doubted it until I actually saw him with my own eyes. All I could think was “Woah. What a trip this is. Totally bizarre. There’s a new person here that wasn’t here a minute ago.”
After they confirmed he was alright (except for a super squishy face and a big bump on the head), Joe and I took some time alone to get to know each other as we’d requested when we were admitted. The hospital staff were very accommodating and respectful of our wishes which we appreciated very much. Before too long we welcomed our first visitors: Joe’s siblings, Jay, my parents and Joe’s parents. Everybody took pictures and the grandparents took turns holding him. When the visiting was finished, I was moved to a semi-private room. This was a huge answer to prayer because I didn’t want to stay in a ward room with a bunch of other people. We couldn’t afford a private or semi-private room, but thank the Lord, all of the ward rooms were full so we got upgraded... and our neighbors went to Canadian Bible Church and we had some mutual friends! To make things even more amazing, we ended up with a completely private room for the second half of our stay because our neighbors checked out in the morning and we didn’t get any new ones. We ended up with a private room for the rest of our stay and didn’t pay a penny! It was a really neat experience. Praise the Lord!
Joe stayed until 11pm each night and then came back the next morning to stay during the day. He did this until we were released on Tuesday, March 15th. During our stay we had visits from my parents, Joe’s grandmother, his mom and his aunt. Paul and Jane, friends of ours from church, also came. The meals weren’t too bad, but it was mass-produced hospital food none-the-less. I had cereal, cheese, milk, an apple and banana bread for breakfast, turkey, soup and squash for lunch and shepherds pie for dinner. Joe’s mom brought us sushi though which was a welcomed treat!
The nights were a bit hard because we’d been having trouble with breastfeeding and so Liam was a bit jaundiced and cranky. He slept in a little cradle beside my bed and the nurses came in to help with the feedings throughout the day and night as needed. It was nice to have their support. When checkout day came around I went in for a shower while nurses popped in and out with paperwork and to do various tests for Liam-- like hearing and some bloodwork. I had one of those special “moments” as I stepped out of the shower and into my room to see Joe quietly rocking Liam in a chair in the morning sunlight. Everything was still and quiet and Joe was singing him “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles. It was the most precious thing I’ve ever seen in my life and that moment will always be ingrained in my memory.
We were welcomed home by my mom and dad who had worked really hard to clean our house top to bottom so it would be nice for us when we came home. My mom had made a banner that said “Welcome Home Baby Liam”. We curled up on the couch and it was an afternoon of feedings, cuddles and dirty diapers. Joe’s parents and siblings came by in the evening for a visit. My mom ended up staying with us for the week to help with meals, dishes and laundry. I was so thankful for her support and Joe was also super supportive and encouraging. For the first two weeks I felt awesome in the mornings and had energy during the day but then by the evenings I felt really down and depressed. It was up and down as my hormones adjusted.
With the pregnancy and delivery behind us, I am thankful for my beautiful baby boy, for my supportive and loving husband and for our families who pulled together to take such good care of us and shower our new family with so much love.
2 comments:
how wonderful!! oh i love how unique everyone's stories are, and this was liam's story :)
love it joe that you were telling leslie how beautiful she was during labour... and that leslie you were able to catch their morning moment together :)
love all three of you!!!
What a lovely story Les! Glad that you took the time to write it out. Thanks for sharing it with the world!
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