Shalom

My passion, have I lost it? I've caught myself turning it in for something more comfortable. Am I standing in my own self-defined role in a fake kingdom of God? I was losing myself, but not to God. I feel as though sometimes I need someone to shake me by my shoulders and tell me who I am-- what to be for him.

Wake up, O sleeper, rise up from the dead and CHRIST will shine on you. [Ephesians 5.14]

As life happens I hear all kinds of things yet I'm expected to pick out and listen to his voice. To be set apart and held to such a different (not higher/better) standard.. I suppose I need to be quiet, obedient and faithful (that is, to trust in the unfolding of a sovereign plan that I cannot seem to make sense of) To know him is exciting, confusing and by earthly standards, unfair. My life is not my own. My mission is not mine. I bind my heart and emotions to the alter-- that I would not obey their orders any longer.

As things sit right now, I feel a peace that I haven't felt in months. It's unlike anything else I've known. Would this peace that I feel linger and not be fleeting-- that from it would come assurance and confidence. May it bring my energy and attention into greater focus.